C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
