..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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