Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
