Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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