my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
