Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
