my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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