We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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