And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
