Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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