I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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