There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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