Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
this just has baby written all over it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
