okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
