I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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