dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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