i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
