Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
