Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
my liver is dry heaving
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
