Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
