Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
