he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
