Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
love makes seman taste better
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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