What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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