I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
