I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
