You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
