I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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