I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
