Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
