Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
