Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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