White coat. Heels.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
