S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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