let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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