the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
