so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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