When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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