apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
