So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
