i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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