God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
