I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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