the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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