the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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