1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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