I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
