pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
