Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
