Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
